Dr. John Maxwell’s recent book says it all, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.”

Technology has made it simpler for people (especially my generation) to become expert communicators and lousy connectors.

“How did you do this or that?” I get asked by some clients when we meet at my office. I tell my older clients and they listen. I tell the clients my age, they tell me it sounds impossible.

This weekend, I made an eight-hour trip to attend a conference. I paid $75 to attend. I spent $250 for a 3-night stay at Hampton Inn (although I’m not crying about it because I racked up enough reward points to earn a couple of free nights on my next trip), $200 in gas money, and $30 on food (I ate at the conference, packed snacks and drinks, got invited to an impromptu barbecue and drank mostly chai lattees on the road).

Too much money and effort you may think.

Some of the participants thought I was crazy for doing that (even though there were some people from different countries present). “You drove by yourself?” a lady asked me, “you’re crazy. Bold, but crazy.”

So what became of that?

I left with an investor for a start-up I’m working on; a business development club/center for girls (details later),  an invitation to join a scheduled meeting with a head of state and talk about this start-up (seriously I’m already being sent information on what not to wear or do already and we still have a few months to go) and three partner organizations.

How did all this happen? I took my online relationships offline. I remembered the ‘social’ in social networking. I made business personal.

I go into some details about connecting offline in this post on StartupBizTalk but I outlined some rules here as well:

Rule One: Never expect someone to bend over backwards for you just because it’s a good thing to do. There has to be a connection in order for the relationship to be sincere. Explore until you find the connection. Sometimes your exploration may lead to spending money. So what? It makes sense to invest in the business you want somebody else to invest in.

Rule Two: Keep this in mind: people run in circles. For example: don’t mistreat a person’s assistant and then treat that person like royalty. People are not stupid. Try to connect with the person who may not have anything to give you and watch what miraculous things could happen.

Rule Three: Have patience. At a minimum, you may have to meet or have conversations three times before any interest is even sparked. Good things don’t come easily. Persistence is key.

Rule Four: Make It Easy. Don’t be so narcissistic to assume that people will just fall in love with you so easily, they’ll run to a website to find you. Always have a presentation or proposal handy. Give people a visual, get them excited.

Rule Five: Tell Your Story. Peter Guber says it best in Tell To Win,

“Whether you want to motivate your executives, organize your shareholders, shape your media, engage your customers, win oner investors, or land a job, you have to deliver a clarion call that will get your listeners’ attention, emotionalize your goals as theirs, and move them to act in your favor. You have to reach their hearts as well as their minds– and this is what story telling does!”

Stories bring out authenticity. I never really realized just how much this start-up is a part of my very core, until I tapped into the story. Stories tells the why. Everyone starts a business, but why you? You will always have competitors or idea thieves so why you? Your story answers that question.

If you’re trying to connect offline to find a mentor, read more about that in this post: Getting a Mentor. Otherwise, I would love to get your thoughts or questions here.